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Thursday, September 25, 2014

30 Days of Thoughts

Thirty Days of Thoughts

A friend started this project asking for submissions "Why do I write?" on Stigmama.com and it started me thinking. Why do I write? Well there are many reasons, so I decided to do this...

Maternal Mental Health Symbol, Postpartum Psychosis, Natachia Barlow Ramsey, Suicide, Depression, Maternal Mental Health, Psychosis

Day 1 - To grieve, to feel my own soul and to try and separate my grief from my guilt. To accept myself for my flaws, to feel like I may be helping someone and to think that maybe, just maybe I might reach someone else who could possibly be where I was 15 years ago. #Grief #Guilt #MySoul

Day 2 - To communicate with others. To talk to you when otherwise you might not listen. To say the things I need you to hear. #Communication

Day 3 - So I don't smack you in the mouth. #SmackInTheMouth

Day 4 - Again, so I vent my anger through words in having to deal with your judgement. #Venting

Day 5 - To feel empowered. #Empowered

Day 6 - To open my email and respond to the messages from other women looking for help. To Help. #HelpingWomen

Day 7 - To find my voice and let it be heard. To not let someone else tell my story and to tell it myself. #MyStory

Day 8 - To be angry and know it's okay to express it with words. #Angry

Day 9 - My name, Natachia Barlow Ramsey. So my name will not just be known for something terrible. That I can use that tragedy to help raise awareness of the "what could happen". I may be the first woman to start talking about losing a child to Postpartum Psychosis, but I will not be the last.  #PostpartumPsychosis #NatachiaBarlowRamsey

Day 10 - Love, I write because I love(d) my son. I love my daughter, my granddaughter, my grandson, my father, my sister and brother and the rest of my family. I want to change the trajectory of our family history and that takes time and perseverance. #LoveFamily

Day 11 - Maternal Mental Health and Postpartum Unity. #MaternalMentalHealth

Day 12 - To cry. #Cry

Day 13 - To make a difference. #MakeADifference

Day 14 - To preserve my thoughts at 2am. #PreserveMyThoughts

Day 15 - Hoping if I say the right words or sentence everything will fall into place and people will start to understand. #Understanding

Day 16 - Because I can, so I shall and I do. #IcanDo

Day 17 - For the woman out there who is doing an internet search right now hoping that she is not alone and feeling the same way I felt for over 13 years. #YoureNotAlone

Day 18 - To empower other women to start finding their voice. Even if the only voice they can find right now is to talk to me. You can talk to me and you are not alone. #FindingMyVoice

Day 19 - Forgiveness. Forgiving myself, forgiving others. #Forgive

Day 20 - Some days I just want to tell someone to shut the hell up. #STFU

Day 21 - Because I will drown from the inside out from all the tears I am holding in. #DrowningInTears

Day 22 - I am a Postpartum Psychosis Survivor and Loser. #PostPartumSurvivor&Loser

Day 23 - Because this is my story and I get to tell it. No one else. I get to take my voice back and my power and my story will be used for good things and not something ugly. #MyStory

Day 24 - Because no one should have their mother hang themselves in their bathroom and have to plan her funeral at 14 years old and then have their grandfather shoot themselves a year later and not talk about it. Not receive any kind of counseling and it not raise any kind of red flags with anyone. Suicide needs to be talked about. #TalkAboutSuicide

Day 25 - I am aggravated and if I could poke someone in the nose through the internet I would. #TheFuture

Day 26 -  Occasionally it's because it gets really late and I start reminiscing and from there I can tell you I have many a partial blog sitting as a draft. I will also blame those late night posts for the typos and grammatical errors, oops! #Typos&Grammar

Day 27 - I got nothing. #Zero

Day 28 - If you don't believe you can make a difference you won't and if you never try you never will. Someone always has to go first. #MakingADifference

Day 29 - I impacted someone's life enough for them to nominate me for a Health Activist Award! Wow, occasionally I wonder how much I am getting through and then... well this. #WegoHealthAward

Day 30 - I am doing this a day early - We have to keep talking. If we don't keep speaking up nothing will ever change because the voices will fade and things will stay the same and that's just not good enough. #KeepTalking #TimeForChange




postpartum psychosis, natachia barlow, natachia barlow ramsey, maternal mental health, suicide, death, postpartum depression, friendship


~Be Loud, Be Purposeful, Be Strong, Be Courageous, Be Creative, Be Something~




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