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Saturday, December 1, 2012

~All I Want For Christmas is My Sanity~ Oh, and Heat...

My oven isn't the best at heating the house

I thought my oven was doing a pretty good job at supplimenting the heat source in my home to conserve on fuel. That is until it dipped into the single digits. You see, my furnace also heats my hot water, and in a bid to make sure I also have enough hot water, I've been turning on my oven during the day and leaving the door wide open. It seemed to be working well until this recent cold snap. Now all the way from my nose to the tips of my toes are froze...

No Christmas!

*Read with Caution, I sound like a Pooper Below*

My daughter, as she is going outside, figures right then and there, is the moment she needs to tell me something. Door wide open, letting all the heat out. If I dare to say "shut the door, you're letting all the heat out and the cold in" she huffs off or this is the beginning of some hour long "You don't listen to me". No matter how many times I've repeated this sentiment about the door; it matters naught. The most important thing in the universe Must be said at that exact moment.
Let me give you another example. I am currently trying to rent out the extra bedroom in our house. I have told her (at least a gazillion times) we need to rent that room before we can do anything. Like put gas in the jeep, buy groceries, toilet paper, or her Cigarettes. But what's the first thing she asks for? Cigarettes. I try and explain I have $8.27 in my checking account and we also have to think about Lanah for Christmas this year. Well, she already has a list her arm's length long. I know she just doesn't understand, I just desperately wish she did.
It often feels like we're in feast or famine mode. (Not that our feast modes have ever been particularly overbearing) But it's always felt nice when this time of year rolls around and I can give without having to think too much about it. I can give to my loved ones what they need and also a little something extra. I'm also able to 'adopt' a couple needy families to make sure they also have a nice Christmas.
This year is not like that at all. I myself have been looking into programs to help with gifts for my daughter and grand-daughter. I have looked into the national programs. I am ready to give up on Christmas all together.
I used to love this time of year. All the lights and sparkles. Waiting to see the excited looks as everyone opened their presents.
This year is filled with job hunting (without any luck), court dates, doctor's appointments, guardianship hearings, mediation and all around blahhh!
I am beginning to really think Christmas should only be every 2-3 years.
I know, I know...I sound like a Big Bah Humbug. I really do want to be in the Christmas Spirit. I'm just not sure how to get there right now.

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