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Saturday, August 30, 2014

Own what you say

I bet everyone reading this think that they are nice


I have to tell you that a lot of you aren't. I mean, I am not nice sometimes. But I am aware of it, and I feel guilty and I mull it over and think about it. Being "honest" these days has become synonymous with really just being an asshole with the end result being the tagline from said person being "just sayin'". As though those last two words added onto any sentence makes it acceptable.

 I am here to tell you; it does not.


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Integrity is a tricky little witch. The dictionary defines Integrity as: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.
I agree. I also believe it's difficult not to be swayed by the views of others. This is not to be confused with valuing others' opinions, keeping an open mind when given new information and perhaps you gain a new perspective. 

I particularly find it difficult at times to go my own way and keep steadfast in my moral beliefs when it's easier to just pretend. The things I hold nearest and dearest to my heart are that even if we stumble a little off course at times, if we at least continuing to try it will eventually work itself out. 
Maybe I am naive. Just as I don't judge people on their religious beliefs, sexual preferences, pro-life/pro-choice. I am pro-life but I believe in pro-choice. Just as I believe I get to make that decision for myself, I want for others to be able to make that decision as well. 

I know I know what's my point? I run a page on facebook called Own What You Say. I haven't paid much attention to it for the last year or so but the premise was if you are going to say something take ownership of your words.
I occasionally look back and think, Jeez did I really shove that out at 2am and then go on to blog another post the next day about the same thing as if my mouth had diarrhea? Yep! That was me. Sometimes I think "maybe I should just delete that post and make like I didn't go just a bit overboard". But you know, I am just as human as you and if I don't leave said posts there to remind myself of those mistakes it would be easy to let myself think I am just as "nice" as a lot of people pretend to be.

I would rather say, yeah I gotta get a better filter for my mouth especially after midnight. I want to stay truest to myself and I know who I am and how I got here. That doesn't mean I never get pissed off, or have a bad day. It also doesn't mean I think saying "just sayin'" makes being rude acceptable. But I can't think of one person who knows me who would say they thought I was fake. And I would always rather have it that way and I like my integrity.

**This is a post written a while back as well. I actually have several that I am going to push out "as is" over the next several weeks**


Maternal Mental Health Symbol, Natachia Barlow Ramsey, Postpartum Psychosis, Suicide, Maternal Mental Health, Psychotic, Depression

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Stigmama.com

MY PSYCHOSIS SONG; NATACHIA BARLOW RAMSEY

postpartum psychosis, maternal mental health, natachia barlow ramsey, postpartum depression, suicide


Welcome to Stigmama.com

I have always believed in the power of women, especially those who have been touched by mental illness or mental difference, to create change. We are different. We  see what others don’t, write what others won’t, and give beauty to the deepest experiences of motherhood and the human soul.

I created Stigmama for mothers of all ages to do just that. To speak their truths in a non judgmental, supportive, creative community. We need the wisdom and support of others to unpack stigma of mental difference in motherhood.

How does it impact your life as a mother? How did it impact your mother’s life? Or your grandmother? If you are interested in writing for Stigmama, please contact me.

Walker Karraa


Maternal Mental Health Symbol, Natachia Barlow Ramsey, Postpartum Psychosis, Suicide, Maternal Mental Health, Psychotic, Depression

Lube Anyone?

*The Post You Are About The Read May Not Be Safe For Work, Church, Your Home Office, Your Car Or Anywhere Other Than The Privacy of Your Bathroom Sitting Safely on Your Toilet With The Door Locked*


This won't hurt a b....

postpartum psychosis, maternal mental health, natachia barlow ramsey, postpartum depression, suicide

If you have gotten this far and want to proceed, you too may want to be sitting on your porcelain throne.

So, as you are all probably aware the Department of Health and Human Services in Maine has been a part of my life more or less since 1999. Now I have fought and won many a battle with them in various court settings all under the umbrella of "The Commissioner".
Yet, once again as they smile to my face and look me in the eye and I think to myself  "Oh this isn't going to be so bad", they quickly bend me over and there is no lube involved.

I am mentally drained.

I'd like to say the "worst part is"... they do it with a smile. Well honestly it's more like a grimace or a smirk. But there are too many "worst parts". I guess believing that Human Services actually means Humane services is just laughable in Maine anyway.

*Originally blogged around 1am and has been sitting in my "draft folder as is" for almost two months*

Maternal Mental Health Symbol, Postpartum Psychosis, Natachia Barlow Ramsey, Suicide, Depression, Maternal Mental Health, Psychosis


My Psychosis Song